This is a guest blog post, kindly written by Kate Wolf.

A few months ago Helen taught a masterclass inside my membership, the Beacons Sisterhood. It’s the place where bright lights gather to burn bright, not out. Helen was sharing how the women could update their wardrobes to match the more true self that was shining through.

What I love about the blend of Helen’s work and my own is it works both ways – when you shift internally, you naturally want to change your outer appearance. Brighter lipstick maybe, or sassier shoes. And when you change your outer appearance, you feel different internally. More confident, more excited to show up in the world.

I’ll leave the style advice to Helen, because she’s fab at that and my talent, joy and – ok – obsession, is navigating the inner world.

I’ve guided many women through the ‘my life doesn’t fit me anymore’ landscape. In fact, many of the women I work with feel like they’ve never really fit in anywhere. When something happens in your life – maybe a loss, the end of a relationship or job; something that shakes you and wakes you up to your own values and sense of what really matters – it can feel like you’re free-falling. A background feeling of panic can arise, or a vague intangible sense of ‘there must be more to life than this’ – but not knowing what ‘more’ looks like or how to create it. Or sometimes we can numb out, turning to Facebook-scrolling, chocolate or Netflix – anything to avoid facing the truth that something needs to change.

And the truth is that those old clothes – that old comfort zone of the navy suit or the array of black – isn’t actually comfortable. It’s a heavy weight on your chest on the tube, a pile of clothes that other people approve of gathering on the back of a chair, a lonely bright red jumper in the closet that you bought in a moment of joy but never dared to wear.

So what DO you do when those metaphorical clothes – and actual clothes! – just don’t fit anymore?

First, pause. I know, I know, it’s the opposite of everything we’ve been taught; keep going, push through, chin up! But that old way isn’t working, so just stop.

Second, listen. It sounds simple but it’s rare that people actually do it. Listen – what are you ignoring? What secret desire, new insight or wonderful creative gift is pulling at your sleeve? Get a little closer to what you actually want.

Third, take one small aligned action. If that little voice inside is whispering that she’d like to paint more, go and spend half an hour in an art store, and see what happens… If you’re yearning for nature or water, stop your car by that lake you always drive by; follow the thought that says ‘I’d love to go there one day’.

Start listening, honouring and following that little voice inside and you may just find yourself on a very different path, living a very different life; perhaps the life you were meant to lead all along. (And looking pretty fantastic while you’re at it).

Photo of Kate Wolf

Hi, I’m Kate Wolf, founder of the Beacons Sisterhood and Wild Voices in Business. I work with women who feel called to lead at this important time on our planet, but don’t think they’re ready yet. I support them to dare to trust their deep-knowing, own their unique brand of magic and share their truth, so that those who need them, find them. You can gather inspiration to share your wild authentic voice here: or if you’re ready to create a business from the truth of who you really are, you can find out more here:


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