I distinctly remember a time in my life when I felt invisible. I’d just suffered the devastating loss of a much longed for pregnancy, just 1 month before my due date. I was broken, my post-partum body felt so very wrong and I was in a state of limbo, not knowing what my future could look like.
I was invisible because I wanted to be. From the way I dressed, to the way I carried myself. I didn’t want to be seen – couldn’t deal with anyone’s sympathy or attention. The clothes I chose to wear at this time reflected my mood and helped me to hide away.
9 months on and I was thrilled to be pregnant again. I’d worked on my fitness, I felt in good shape, physically and mentally. My amazing employers had helped me to set up as a consultant and become self-employed, working part-time which gave me time to focus on my recovery and wellbeing. I felt optimistic. So lucky to be pregnant again and one of my new friends had introduced me to the wonders of GHD straighteners so I could finally grow out my short crop that would’ve got ‘bigger’ rather than longer as it grew. I was back, feeling confident and ready to get back out there and lead a bigger life.
STYLE, CONFIDENCE AND VISIBILITY
Back then, I didn’t know what I now know about style, but I truly believe the experiences we have in our lives prepare us for our future. This was one of the first times I’d equated style with confidence and visibility. It has happened many times since then and now I love to inspire other women and teach this connection through the talks, style classes, videos and blogs I provide for my community and as a guest speaker or interviewee on other platforms. (On that note, do get in touch if you have a community of women you think would find one of my talks useful – firstname.lastname@example.org).
As women in business, myself and my clients need to feel good and confident in order to get out there and inspire and deliver in the way we do through our work. And sometimes that feels hard. The women I tend to work with are on a growth journey. They see their personal style as a vital part of their business growth and are happy to spend time and money getting their style to a place of gorgeousness and ease. So that when they show up to deliver a talk or record a video or have a photoshoot, they know exactly what to wear. And it all starts with working out the kinds of outfits that make you feel fabulous and confident.
FIND YOUR UNIQUE STYLE
The fact that we are all so beautifully different is what can sometimes make style feel really hard. If you take your influence from people that don’t look like you, you can become a bit stuck or start to feel that something about the way you are is ‘wrong’.
Don’t like heels? That’s fine, don’t wear them.
Don’t feel good in skirts? Leave them for someone that does.
Don’t suit the colour of the season? That’s fine, choose your own colour for the season.
When you understand your style and the thing that brings it together and makes it clearly ‘yours’, getting dressed into outfits that make you look and FEEL confident becomes easy. Then you start to shine more brightly and the right kind of people are magically drawn towards you and your work.
Some Ideas to try
If you are stuck as to what your ‘style thing’ could be, the thing that you become recognised and known for – try some of these ideas (and notice how they make you FEEL – that’s what makes the difference):
- A specific colour or way of wearing colour (my client Laura Coleman is a big fan of yellow. It suits her, matches her logo and now, whenever I see anything yellow I think of Laura). Try dressing in tones of your favourite colour or for a more bold look, try colour blocking.
- A type of clothing could be your ‘thing’ – a midi dress, a leather skirt or jeans and trainers for example. As long as it’s deliberate and suits your style, it’ll work.
- Have a play with make-up. A bold red lip might be your signature look.
- Statement jewellery – in my Style Club we’ve been experimenting with wearing a different outfit every day for 14 days. Sarah has been playing with her amazing statement necklaces. It’s amazing how you can change up an outfit using different pieces.
- Fabulously painted nails.
When you choose your thing, don’t feel like it has to stay forever. You can change it up as often as you like, as long as it feels good to you. After all, Gareth Southgate ditched his thing this summer and he’s definitely still the hero of the hour!
Need my help?
If you find the thought of experimenting too daunting, get in touch to have a chat about how I can help you to up-level your personal style, so that you know which ‘things’ are right for you. I’m fully booked for private work in 2021 and my diary is beginning to fill up for spring 2022 so don’t delay!
Click here to tell me a bit more about you and I’ll send you a link to my diary to book a discovery call. Or, look out for the launch of my upcoming FREE Wardrobe Reboot Challenge in September if you like the idea of learning about your style in a group of fabulous women all on the same mission.
You can join the waiting list to get early notification of the challenge start dates by clicking here.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s your ‘style thing’? Do leave me a comment below – let’s see how beautifully different we all are!
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I love your blogs . I now have far more confidence than I ever had before in buying/ wearing clothes. Even pulling together outfits together that are a bit out there for me and owning it! I’m 51 and have floundered a lot in the last 5 years .Thank you Helen x
Well that’s wonderful news Sarah! Especially the ‘owning it’ part. Thank you for your lovely feedback. xx
I am still a long way from where I want to be. But after your on line seminar and having my colours done I know I am moving in the right direction.
I still need to work out how to combine my love to skirts/ dresses that swirl ( a big love due to the various sorts of dancing I do) with my every day / work wear. But I have much more idea than I did thanks to you.I will keep watching and reading and may finally start the clear out of my massively over full wardrobes