Authenticity. There’s a word that’s bandied around a heck of a lot these days. Sorry for the snoozefest, but, today I’m going to talk about it too. Because, in my personal philosophy, there are three simple steps to genuine happiness and confidence, and they all sit on a bedrock of authenticity. My three steps to happiness and confidence are:
- Know who you are.
- Work out how you want to show who you are.
- Do it.
Simple, isn’t it? As trivial as it may seem, getting your clothing right is a HUGE part of this. Think back to your childhood and remember a time (usually around age 10-13, depending on how sophisticated you were) when you first felt like you were wearing the wrong clothes.
It was probably a bit like in the story of Adam and Eve when they suddenly realise they are naked. You might have ‘suddenly realised’ that your mum was still buying your clothes and, actually, you didn’t really like her taste. Or, perhaps it happened when you were forced to don some outfit out of politeness to others; either it was a gift, or you were a bridesmaid or wearing a fancy dress costume chosen by someone else.
For my friend Pip it was when she had to wear a bridesmaid dress, age 13 that was more suited to a 5 year old and she felt self-conscious all day.
You can probably easily recall that feeling of discomfort and awkwardness. It came about because, in that moment, for whatever reason, you weren’t being authentic. You were forced into clothing that you didn’t feel represented the true ‘you’.
You may have had this feeling as an adult too. Perhaps you accidentally bought something that suited your shape, and your colouring, but wasn’t the right ‘Style’ for you. If it was an expensive purchase, you probably forced yourself to wear it anyway, but felt out of place, or self-conscious throughout the experience.
If you’ve been reading these blogs for a while you’ll have heard me banging on about this thing called ‘Style’ (capital S). It’s one of the four elements in my Style Blueprint, that I use to help clients to find the clothes that love them back. To be honest, of the four, it’s hardest to explain because it’s to do with feelings, rather than physics. You just know it when you’ve got it right. There are four types of Style: Classic, Dramatic, Girlie, and Natural. You might be 100% one, or, more likely a mix of two or more. For my clients, I work out the exact proportions that best suit them so that they can build outfits that roughly equal the proportions.
Doing this is key to feeling comfortable and authentic in your clothes.
If you want more information about each of the Styles, visit this post. For the sake of brevity I’m not going to get into it all in detail here.
Today, I’m going to help you work out if you are in the wrong style, because, as well as that feeling of awkwardness (that you might be ignoring) there are five tell-tale signs. Here they are:
- You keep taking things back, because you can’t find a way to wear them.
- You feel uncomfortable in certain types of clothes.
- You feel invisible in your outfits.
- You keep getting changed before you leave the house.
- Nothing in your wardrobe seems to go with anything else in your wardrobe.
If you are suffering from one or more of these, there’s a good chance that you’ve gone a bit wrong with the Style of clothes you are wearing and you might need my help. Luckily I have something that can help you work out which is the best for you. Book a Free Exploration Call with me here. During the call, we will cover:
- Discover what is keeping you stuck in your style.
- Find out what you need to know in order to feel more comfortable in your own style.
- Explore what your next steps could be to take you to style confidence.
“Working with Helen has been a real delight. I’ve finally got the confidence to know what to wear for every occasion, what suits me and what doesn’t. I had a lot of fun and I feel that this was one of the best investment I ever made in myself” Moni Rodriguez (Women’s Leadership Coach, Speaker, Author)
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Hi Helen, thank you SO MUCH for this article! Reading it made me remember that I used to LOVE wearing unusual things when I was a teenager & young adult. I have been wearing such boring clothes for too long now. Most of my current clothes don’t excite me or make me feel alive and happy, whereas I remember now how good I felt wearing interesting clothes in the past! And having photographed your styling event last year I know that my style is ‘dramatic’, so that will help me look for the appropriate kind of clothes and accessories. Thank you! 🙂